Diversity Starts From The Top

This is something I wrote that I intended to add onto The Dragon Prince review, but it no longer fit so I’ll post it here on its own.

While it’s no secret that high fantasy and Sci-Fi are entrenched in the densest forms of whiteness, this has always confused me.

In my own personal outlook, fantasy to me is an interpretation of the past (in various distances), while Sci-Fi is an outlook towards the future.

And all some people can see is…the same tired structures of whiteness?

This is severely off topic, but it’s a memory that surfaced while writing so I’d like to talk about it. In college, there was this real SOB of a professor that literally everyone in the course disliked. A few even decided to wisely transfer out within the first week of the class and switch to another. I didn’t, opting to sit towards the back and not say much.

He had a few supporters, but all of that changed quickly when we had a particular assignment. In groups, we had to pitch a film and try to sell it. Since I decided to get my producing minor credits out of the way all in one go, almost every course I was enrolled in that semester was doing the same – so it was boring to say the least at this point. The only male in the group was coincidentally already working on a project, so we just pitched that and raked in an easy A.

After that segment was over, the professor allowed us to ask any questions we had. I don’t remember the question a fellow classmate asked, but I do remember our instructor’s response.

Pertaining to independent film he advised the students not to bother making “black films or anything ethnic, as they don’t do well overseas.” Needless to say, he didn’t catch the atmosphere in the room change – and continued drooling the purest forms of ignorance out of his mouth.

Continuing that “those films” rarely make money and are simply a waste of time, and it was better to stick to “tried and true methods” aka – white films with all white casts.

He’d left early that day after lecture, and I remember everyone just hung around looking at each other and spoke in hushed voices. It was too late to switch out now so nothing could really be done. There was no point in reporting him – he used to be one of Hollywood’s top producers.

I’m sure if you heard projects he worked on you’d recognize the multi-million dollar box office hits. So for the most part, everyone kept their mouth shut about it and just had a general disdain. There were some who really enjoyed his ideologies and kissed up for industry connections – the male who was in my group being one. Last I heard, they had made the film and things are going well for him.

Needless to say, I believe this is why Hollywood and the movie theatre industry are dying as a whole. They refuse to adapt and release their toxic ideologies of racism, imperialism, and general tyranny. Instead of fighting against tides that you cannot swim in, many have opted to go the indie route – myself included.

If you can envision a story that needs to be told, who better than you to create it? It is the harder route but more rewarding in the long run. You’re not begging powerful individuals for funding in exchange for producing credits, then, in turn, having the audacity to be surprised when they think they own your film and can dictate every minuscule and minute detail to fit their narrative or agenda.

Its things like this that lead to a piss poor portrayal of cultural diversity in the media and its further outlets.

This sort of mindset however seems to thrive anywhere there is power. This extends to any given industry that has gone mainstream, anime included. One last story before I finish up this article.

I was working an event, and the crème de la crème of the American – Japanese publishing industry were in attendance. I noticed for a while that when it comes to Japanese culture, anime, etc. – it is very hard to be “let in” to these circles.

And once you’re in, it’s just one big circle jerk to please the next person due to the personalities this line of work tends to attract.

Anyway, I had always wondered why it was the same people at the same exact events and the same exact companies. Japanese business model of 過労死 (karoshi, or working until you die) aside, from my observations people really did not leave their positions unless they were promoted or well…died.

There was a networking hour, and as soon as I was off the clock I decided to speak to the only person in the group who was not outwardly nasty to me earlier.

I’ve encountered a lot of unpleasant people who have treated me unfairly unprovoked. I’ve never known if it was due to my skin color or feelings of inferiority. Judging by the amount I’ve been talked down to, I tend to favor the latter – but that could be my own arrogance talking.

Which don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret any of the experiences I’ve had. More often than not I’ve met very kind people who I never dreamed I would. The common pattern I speak of always came from the subordinates or those insecure about their positions or station in life.

[Which btw, if you want to know how to deal with these types of people there are two options: be nice and play coy, or act as pretentious as possible. In other words, talk down to them back, act disinterested in anything they have to say and bring in your well-developed poker face. They will be caught off guard most of the time and wonder why you are not recognizing their self-importance and suddenly – you become the most interesting thing in the world. This always works well on the haughty wealthy folk, overbearing celebrities, politicians or any situation where ego is involved. It’s just a little something I picked up going to school with rich kids and finding myself in…foreign spaces lol.]

Anyway, I chatted him up (he happened to work for my favorite publisher at the time) and decided to casually ask if they were hiring. I was working at one cultural hub so to speak, and it would be poor taste to just jump ship for another one so it was mainly out of curiosity.

Japanese office ladies and salary men are some of the fiercest gossipers I’ve ever met and I say this with as much kindness as possible. If I left for another company like that (provided they even let me in) the reputation of ‘disloyalty’ would no doubt follow me.

After asking, he laughed in my face and said that they did not hire. Provided he was tipsy on libations I didn’t take the laugh as something malicious.

Writing this, I also realize just how desensitized I’ve become regarding my interpersonal reactions.

I then pushed my luck even further, inquiring why his company head had given this grand speech about “following your dreams” and that with enough practice and studying of Japanese language and culture, you could be where he was? Why did he get all of those teenagers and young adults – some decked out wearing anime merchandise like licensed T-shirts and official gear from said company – excited and accept their applications after the presentation when he had no intention of even looking at them?

He just shrugged, looked over my shoulder and seen a friend (I’m assuming, I honestly just took the hint) and walked away. I think that was the first time I realized that in every industry, there is a bunch of bullshit.

At a certain point, you have to wonder – when does it all become too much? When are you tired? What goal were you originally working toward?

People leave industries all the time after they grow disillusioned or grow too tired, and decide to mentor or start their own production studios.

About two years after that incident with the professor I mentioned, one morning after I had already graduated he was on the morning news. He was now basically at the top in that department, overseeing admissions of the incoming classes and dictating courses.

On the news he was being awarded and he gave this grandiose speech about “the importance of diversity” and how “minorities needed their own unique voice in Hollywood”. Beside him was a young girl, his ‘mentoree’, beaming and idolizing him as if he were some god.

I swear to you I would have spit on my TV if I could. Instead I called him a motherf*cker and walked away cursing while my mom asked in confusion what was wrong. I didn’t even explain, I just laughed.

This world is amazing.

It’s something, how these powerful people decide to take a different route and seemingly downgrade their life. There are those who really do mean well, but there are even more like this professor – who has decided to spread his ilk from the top to the bottom to the next generation of eager, bright-eyed filmmakers.

I’m turning this review into something else, so that’s all I’ll say on this matter. I applaud The Dragon Prince for reflecting the diversity of our world and normalizing differences. People of color in power, members of the deaf community in positions of power, blended families that don’t hate one another, all wrapped together in an epic storytelling that seeks to restore balance back to their world. I applaud it, and I’d like to leave this article with a video clip that I often think about. It may seem random, but it’s Dave Chappelle speaking on Hollywood and knowing your price. This is a topic often spoken of in cryptic language – or doublespeak- as I have just used.

But it’s important and I’m glad he said it. The more beautiful the image of an entity, the more insidious its underbelly really is.

I’d also encourage you all to watch Misaeng: Incomplete Life. I did a review on it and eagerly look forward to its second season. It focuses on corporate culture at one of South Korea’s top companies, and shows the psychological and emotional effects of a toxic workplace.

Have you ever encountered something unfortunate in your workplace? Can you really separate society and culture? What would you like to see changed about media?

Leave your thoughts in the comment section below, I’d love to hear from you! Also be sure to follow our blog and other social media such as Twitter and Instagram!

I Don’t Think I’ll Attend New York Comic Con Next Year | NYCC 2018 Review

After attending each year since 2011 religiously, it seems the East Coast convention’s magic has worn off on me.

It was a clear, cool day arriving to the Jacob Javits Center for Comic Con. I had a Friday badge, and had arrived later than previous years. Timing the trains correctly, I could leave home around 8 am and arrive an hour later in line with one of the doors in clear view. Despite not coming super early, I always had good luck with getting to the show floor first.

I remember in 2012, I left super early from home and missed tickets for the private signing with Danny Choo. I was heartbroken. So heartbroken, that despite fighting a con cold with a 3-Day badge I called out to him after his panel. I boldly asked for his autograph and despite the packed room, he came over and spoke to me. I didn’t want to go to College and before transferring to my dream university, I spent my downtime on campus viewing his website and watching anime using the school library’s crappy wifi.

It’s was the only thing that got me through those days.

That year I also received a map of Japan, which along with my signed badge and other mementos collected over the years hang on the walls of my computer room. I remember was so sick that I couldn’t finish out the remaining days of the convention that year, and on the way home I cried in happiness that I’d met him. It was something I never fathomed possible at that point in my life. Things were terrible all around, and I retreated to anime in the worst times as a crutch to cope with things. Danny Choo had always attended Anime Expo in Los Angeles and I never thought I’d attend that con, until 2015 when I did – but that is a story for another time.

Each year I was dazzled by the people, the costumes – the energy of the big city. Coming from the suburbs, it was a chance to see things that were not a part of my environment. My surroundings. Parts and facets of my life I desperately wanted to become main staples danced and mingled at this yearly con. I would later attend college in Manhattan, work in the city and have my dream job years later at a Japanese Cultural Center – but the me back then could not even realize that those were viable options.

My world was so small. Everything felt so hopeless. I was just so incredibly sad each day.

In 2014 The Legend of Korra came to New York Comic Con. I remember doing live updates on Tumblr for the fandom along with a core group of other users, sitting on the floor waiting for the panel, fans handing out “Thank You Bryke” pins. Just being in the same room as fans of the original show, Avatar: The Last Airbender and the precarious sequel series made me immensely happy. My fandom had come to life and was here, something tangible my senses could understand and soak in. We were no longer hidden behind our screens or gifs or lengthy discourses of the show – we were all here in one room together; and it was magical.

I attended an off-site event to promote an upcoming video game for the LOK series and made so many new friends. We ate pizza, drank beer and talked shit about the Asami – Mako – Korra love triangle. This was before Korrasami became endgame. It was a great time.

I also went to the Brooklyn Brewery Defend Beer parties in costume. Getting a lot of stares on the subway, I powered through it and met wonderful people at the party. It was my first time back then traveling to different boroughs alone and although I was scared, it was a new experience. The con also had these off-site cosplay parties where you could meet other fans and win the coveted 3-day and 4-day badges in a raffle. I never won, but I always met great people and the free food was delicious.  The parties were in random places (a gay bar downtown by the “gay” pier, the weird side of midtown no one goes to) but it was always a good time.

Sometime after that, I had my first internship in that area of town. After my day was done, I’d often pass that bar and smile to myself remembering the good times before sitting down to stare at the bay. Because of that experience, I learned the area and had a better time getting around when I needed to navigate the area during my time as an intern.

The following convention year, it all changed and really clicked into place. Kishimoto Masashi was coming to NYCC, his first time overseas at an event. The internet went wild. I was still on YouTube during that time, and I remember the power players like Sawyer7mage, Double4anime and Forneverworld to name a few flying to New York for a chance to meet him.

Viz Media was giving wristbands out for a private signing and held a raffle at three different times that day. I already snagged a wristband to his panel after literally running to the line and being counted in. A few minutes later, the line was capped as many other fans also did the same and ran for their lives to get a chance. I ended up entering the convention center that morning right by the place I had to go to, and asked Lance Fensterman if it was the correct place. I had seen him on TV just the hour before being interviewed by the news and thought it pretty neat to just run into him like that.

I silently thought maybe it was kismet, I would be able to meet Kishimoto.

In the raffle crowds, I made many line friends. My name was not called during the first round, and I wanted to stay close so I set up shop on the floor in an area where weary con goers were eating and looking at their merch. Around the time of the second round, I left, realized my name was not called and went back to the same spot. This took hours. The final round was being called, and only about two or three spots remained. The woman calling names would simply skip over your chance if you were not there and making noise that showed you were present. My name was called, and as I was in the back of the crowd – I hadn’t heard it. Suddenly, I heard a bunch of people shouting “wait, she’s here – she’s in the sheep costume back there, don’t continue!” My line friends from earlier were calling my name and rushing me up front for my wristband.

They were genuinely happy for me. It was the nicest thing that had ever happened to me. These complete strangers who shared the same passions helped me on my mission to meet Kishimoto, when they could have ignored my name to better their chances. Suddenly, sitting in the same spot alone and hungry for hours and wasting the rest of my convention time had been worth it. Even now, it makes me tear up a bit just thinking about it.

I wondered what the difference was between me and someone like Sawyer7mage, who was not chosen for the raffle or Kinokuniya signing. Someone who had reviewed the series for years consistently and was the most genuine of the reviewers in my opinion. He made a video saying that although he did not get a signature, he randomly met the mangaka in the restroom and Kishimoto told him he recognized him from watching his YouTube videos. He was happy with just that, and it was such a heartwarming story to watch him explain and describe.

I wondered why I got the ticket, and why he didn’t when I felt he deserved it more.

I stopped thinking so selfishly at conventions. No longer the first one to grab a poster, or shove someone out of the way for a freebie. I started going out of my way to help other con-goers in the way I had been helped. And of course, when I had that signed shikishi at home I looked at it and cried. That seems to be a common theme, me crying over silly things.

I know that when I do get to Japan, I may just bawl my eyes out the minute that plane lands on the tarmac.

After that amazing experience, nothing could ever top it for me. The following convention years had been quite…dull from my perspective. I went, walked the convention floor, seen a few panels, snuck some food in to eat and went home while catching a gyro on the way.

The Gyro place has since closed. New York Comic Con stopped offering the free cosplay event parties. They stopped offering 3-Day and 4-Day badges. They stopped finalizing the talent list and putting it online before the purchase of tickets. They implemented fan verification. They implemented the virtual queue from hell. They got stricter on cosplayers and props. Security was beefed up. The generous freebies stopped. The lines were now long and convoluted.

The things I fell in love with at the con were gone and had changed.I’ve changed along the way, as well.

I have had so many wonderful memories at this convention over the years and I wish many other con goers the same camaraderie and happiness I experienced for generations to come.

For me, however, I think it’s time I branch out to see what else is out there. This convention used to be something I looked forward to all year. I planned costumes, saved money, and felt eternal happiness in everything I did.

I’ve since retired the costume I religiously wore. I now know Manhattan and a few other boroughs like the back of my hand. I know where to go for authentic anime merchandise and traditional Japanese cultural experiences in the city. I know where to find the best curry, the best ramen, and where to catch subtitled films in theatres. I’ve learned so much since the time I first attended New York Comic Con in 2011, that I feel like I’ve outgrown it in a way. I’ve graduated, and want to experience what else the world has to offer. I did attend Anime Expo in 2015 as a college graduation gift to myself, but as a now self-identified thoroughbred New Yorker I felt like I was in a different country while there. It was an atrocious time, but luckily there was a group of people next door to my hotel room that were from New Jersey. We hung out a bit and talked about how much we collectively hated California.

Next year I’d like to go back, as I made some new friends who stay in LA and attend that con. I should have a different experience with an open mind.

I’ve also learned how to read and write in Japanese since 2011 (although my spoken conversation skills are still a bit shaky and lacking confidence) I’d like to go to Comiket one year. Or the Tokyo Game Show. Or even AnimeJapan. Along with Sacred Anime Pilgrimages, there are so many things I’d like to do that I could not envision until now.

I’m no longer afraid to try. I’m no longer afraid that my dreams won’t come true.

I realized while writing this that the missing factor in my enjoyment of the con the last few years has been a tie to anime or a life-long fandom. That was also why I was so visibly angry when Anime Fest was announced and presented as some new convention when I remembered its previous incarnate. Especially on the heels of attending Anime NYC last year and receiving a special pin for its inauguration. It felt like such a slap in the face to my patronage of NYCC.

Which is why, along with other reasons stated and unstated, I most likely will not attend New York Comic Con next year.

That is, unless an earth-shattering guest is in attendance. Then I will buy a single day badge.

Otherwise, I’ll be home saving my money for new adventures.

I meant for this to be a review of the current con that indulged us all this weekend, but it seems that this somehow ended up being a review of all my past con at the Javits Center.

I’ve had fun, and that’s all I ever wanted. I hope in years to come they improve on some things, and continue to bring fans happiness with as little hassle as possible.

What is New York Comic Con like?

I don’t know how to end this, so I’ll leave it here.


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